Saving Sarah

May 30th....scan day.  Ever since I heard the date I've been filled with excitement, counting down days....but I've also been terrified of it.  Nathan and I woke up early and grabbed Sarah out of her bed to head to the hospital.  We checked in at 6:30, they examined her and put in an IV, then we walked back with her and I held her as they gave her medicine to put her to sleep.  Being in the room filled me with anxiety and dread, we have only ever had bad experiences from this room and it's hard to imagine the doctors giving us good news.  We kissed her goodbye and went to the waiting room. After Sarah's scan we took her on a drive around Salt Lake while we waited to meet with the doctors to go over results.  It was short lived though, because we were too anxious to get back.  We wanted to be there as soon as they knew anything.  When we saw our team of doctors they smiled and gave us the most wonderful news..."Sarah's scans are clean." We are ...

We made it home to Utah one week ago tonight.  It's been so good to be back. Sarah is active and happy, and honestly if it weren't for her darling bald head and missing eyebrows you wouldn't know she was sick. She was able to have her central line removed Friday, which has helped her feel more normal. Central lines can't get wet so she has been having bed baths since November....she loves taking showers now.  She just stands there as the warm water falls on her.  Every time I ask her if she's ready to get out she just smiles and says "no". It's been a harder adjustment, emotionally, than I thought it would be. I think it's because all we do now is wait. We need to wait about five weeks before Sarah can have an MRI...radiation can make an MRI light up and give a false reading if we do it too soon.  My emotions change quickly from positive and hopeful to despair and gloom.  Nathan, the kids, and my parents are helping me more than they know....th...

Most of this week was cold and rainy, but we had fun anyway. My dad took Camden, Sarah and I to the movie theater after her appointment on Monday.  They loved it, not so much the actual movie, but they loved the whole movie theater experience.   I think their favorite part were the motorcycles in the arcade outside the theater.  The OCD chemo mom inside me doesn't like doing these activities...all I can think about are crazy germs.  But I've learned to  just let them live life and then give them a really good scrub down with fresh clothes as soon as we've finished our fun. :) Tuesday was my dad's birthday and I really wanted it to be a perfect day for him, especially after all he has done for us. He and my mom have sacrificed a lot to have him come be with us through so much of this journey.  I knew he wanted to go on a harbor cruise but the weather just kept showing rain. Camden was sweet and prayed with me that we could have good weather to go on the ...

Day 20 of proton radiation! We are on the countdown and could not be happier.  Sarah is always so excited to cross the hall to her treatment room she can't even wait for me.  She insists I put her down and she runs in, points at the machine with a big smile and then covers her mouth with her hands and giggles.  She used to fight me and cry when we would walk in the room, now she doesn't really even notice I'm there.  She reaches up for her buddy Cliff to put her on the table and looks at me with a big smile.  She loves it there...It's like she knows this is how God will heal her.  The technology is totally beyond my comprehension and is truly amazing.  We are overwhelmed with gratitude to be here, and so very excited to go back home. The weather has been pretty good the last couple days so we have been out exploring nature.  Yesterday we took a ferry to Bainbridge and explored the Grand Forest, and today we went to Lake Sammamish Sate Park. Sa...

We had a wonderful week.  Sarah is totally used to her routine now, she even gets excited when we pull into the parking lot of her treatment center.  When we get in the building they scan Sarah's badge and take us back to a holding room while they take Sarah's vitals.  Sarah plays with toys, throws a cute little football across the room and giggles when her nurse throws it back to her.  Then they take her across the hall to the treatment room where she sits patiently on the table while the anesthesiologist accesses her line and puts her to sleep. I was really sad to leave our friends at Primary Children's.  Sarah and I had our favorite nurses that we would ask for and they let us have them whenever possible.  We love the doctors that care for her and know her so well. They truly became part of our family and we were so sad to leave them.  I was surprised how easy the transition has been though.  The people at SCCA are all so kind and are dear to...

Week two of radiation finished!  Monday morning we were about to walk out the door of our place to leave for her appointment when Camden found a cracker and shared it with Sarah.  I heard her take a bite and ran over to fish the bite out of her mouth.  I got it out but was nervous they would put off treatment for a few hours because of it.  Instead of putting it off and making her be NPO for another six hours they canceled her appointment for the day.  It is too risky to put her to sleep if she had any food.  I was pretty mad at myself the rest of that day.  We have since made extra sure there is nothing either of the kids could find in the mornings before her appointments. Tuesday after Sarah's appointment we went on a drive and she was SO excited to see a Chick Fil A.  She loves Chick Fil A!  Her appetite is back and she is doing really well. Thursday morning Sarah had an MRI at Seattle Children's Hospital, then we went straight to her ...

It has been a fun week here in Seattle.  Sarah is tolerating the treatment really well so far.  We go into the clinic about the same time each week day.  She can't have anything to drink for a couple hours before treatment because they have to put her to sleep before treatment, that's probably the hardest part for her because her "mimi" (bottle) is a huge comfort to her right now. We get to the clinic and they take her vitals while an anesthesiologist comes to meet with us and makes sure Sarah is ready to go.  I carry her with me across the hall to the treatment room and hold her while she falls asleep, (it takes effect really fast).  After she is asleep I wait in the lobby with Grandpa and Camden or play Mario with Camden in the playroom. They come to get me when she is waking up and we are done for the day.  She is happy and well and we are able to go on some fun adventures with Grandpa or Daddy. Nathan and Hannah flew in Thursday night and we ...