Saving Sarah

Nathan, Sarah and I left early this morning for the hospital.  I was hoping it was early enough that Camden and Hannah would sleep through it and not even know we left.  Hannah slept....but Camden didn't. He didn't want me to leave again.  He wakes up every morning, "Do you have to go back to the hospital?" Today he didn't pout or have a melt down, but he was broken hearted.  They are all so tired of this...tired of having a part time mom, tired of Sarah being sick and in pain, tired of being away from each other. We got to the hospital and Sarah didn't even cry, she's so used to it now.  We had to wait a few hours for surgery, thankfully she slept through most of the wait.  The anesthesiologist brought her some medicine to help her relax so she wasn't scared to leave us.  It works super fast.  We gave her a hug, handed her to the doctor and watched as he carried her away. Surgery was about five hours.  She has a team of amazing surgeons ...

This week has been a roller coaster of emotions.  Sarah had her MRI last Thursday to check tumor status.  Nathan and I have felt so good about it.  We really believed the chemo would be good. It was obviously wiping her out, so it must be getting the tumor…right?   I took Sarah downstairs and held her while they put her to sleep, I watched them lay her on the machine, and I felt totally fine.  It was a couple hours before they brought Sarah back up to the room sleeping soundly. I knew it would take a little bit for radiology read the scan, so I took a nap with Sarah.  I woke up to our wonderful doctors walking in the room.  They are totally invested in this.  Sarah isn’t just a patient to them, I know they love her and want her to beat this. I could see it in their eyes…something was wrong. They told me the tumor was growing.  It was definitely smaller than it’s been in the past, but it was there….it was growing.  The MRI of her spi...

It has been an eventful week for Miss Sarah! Last Monday she started chemo.  Her dressing was removed to prevent skin burns from Thiotepa.  3x daily baths begin.   Tuesday, more chemo and more baths.  During one of her baths I notice her line looks like it’s come out slightly.  They do a chest x-ray…it has come out a little, but it is still in just far enough.   Wednesday we give Sarah her first bath of the day and the line has come out at least two inches.  We hurry and put her gauze wrap on to hold what is left of the line in place.  Another chest x-ray confirms the line is out of place.  The gauze comes off for her next bath and the line just falls out.  She needs a new line placed before her counts drop but after the crazy skin burning chemo has been out of her system for 48 hours.  That evening I realized she would be going in for surgery the next day and hadn’t had a priesthood blessing.  I text the Branch Pr...