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September 8, 2021

  Four years ago today our life was turned upside down. I never imagined this life would be ours….I don’t think anyone ever thinks it will happen to them. I remember when my sweet aunt was fighting cancer. Hannah cried for Marilyn, so worried about her. “Do kids ever get cancer, mom?” …..”Yes, they do. But it’s not something you need to worry about.” Little did I know, cancer would upend everything in our little world.  After three brain surgeries, months of grueling chemo and radiation, Sarah is healthy and strong. She’s the strongest person I know. But just because the cancer is gone, doesn’t mean everything is better now. Nothing comes easy for Sarah (except for loving others—she loves fiercely.) She works hard for everything-even the simple things most people take for granted. I am amazed by her strength, courage, and determination.  It’s hard to say I’m grateful for it after at all she’s been through, and the difficulties she faces now….but I am. I am grateful. It’s ...
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September 8, 2017

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September 8, 2017 is a day I will never forget.  The urgency I felt to get Sarah to the doctor....looking at her in the rearview mirror as her eyes glazed over and driving faster......carrying her limp body through the hospital doors, and sobbing as they rushed her away from me.  Had I just seen my baby alive for the last time?  Panic rushed over me...this couldn't be real. They walked Nathan and I outside of the room where she was lying motionless on the bed as they poked over and over again, trying to place an IV.  I was filled with relief any time I heard the slightest sound from her because I knew she was still alive.  They called the life flight team in to place the IV.  They were amazing, truly heaven sent, and from that moment they never left her side.  She seized on the way to her CT.  They were able to stop it quickly and get her to the scan in minutes.  In the scan our life flight nurse quickly saw the massive tumor and got everyo...
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Happy Birthday Marilyn

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I’m writing this post in honor of my beautiful angel aunt Marilyn, who would have been turning 59 today.  She passed away  in November  after a courageous fight with cancer.   When she was diagnosed back in 2013 she knew it wasn’t a battle she could win, the cancer would eventually take her back home.   She decided from the very beginning though, that she would never be mad at God.   Instead she would put her trust in Him, knowing that He would never leave her or her family alone.   I will be forever grateful to her for her faith in God, her optimism, her courage, and her endurance. She had a stronger impact on us than she probably knew.   She set the example for us…when hard times come, put your trust in the Lord, and move forward with faith.   Looking back at this last year leaves me in awe.  It was the most awful year of my life, but at the same time it was the best year of my life…it was truly sacred, heaven had never been so cl...
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Make a Wish

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We just finished an amazing trip to Disneyland!!!...thank you Make a Wish, and so many others who contributed to make Sarah's wish exactly what she wanted.  Hannah has been praying for months that, "Sarah would get better and we could take her to Disneyland".  I am so grateful those prayers were answered.  I loved watching Sarah take everything in.  She loved meeting characters, but she wasn't super interested in taking pictures with them, she just wanted to play with them.  She played hide and seek with Elsa & Anna, Peek-a-boo with Pooh Bear, made funny faces with Peter Pan, danced with Groot, and cuddled with Captain America (totally all her doing)!  She is just so happy and full of energy, completely loving life.  Her favorite rides were Little Mermaid, Monsters Inc., and Winnie the Pooh, but she was happy no matter what ride she was on.   We ran into one of Sarah's nurses from Primary Children's, and Sarah loved seeing her.  It...
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June 11, 2018

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Almost two weeks since Sarah's clean scan...what a wonderful two weeks it has been!  It's been the first time we have been able to breathe easy, and just worry about normal every-day things.  The relief is amazing, the peace almost tangible.  With life being so easy I have to stop and remind myself to cherish each moment, and take time to live life not just watch it pass by.  I remind myself to show people I love them, not just tell them.  Life is short, and so very fragile. Take time to show your love for others today. "Love the people God gave you because He will need them back someday." Sarah is doing really well!  Her hair on the back of her head is long enough to get the cutest little bedhead.  The rest of her hair will come soon enough but until then I get to look at her beautiful scar and be constantly reminded of the miracles we have seen.  She will be followed closely with frequent MRI's, kidney function tests, EKG's, hearing tests, ey...
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May 30, 2018

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May 30th....scan day.  Ever since I heard the date I've been filled with excitement, counting down days....but I've also been terrified of it.  Nathan and I woke up early and grabbed Sarah out of her bed to head to the hospital.  We checked in at 6:30, they examined her and put in an IV, then we walked back with her and I held her as they gave her medicine to put her to sleep.  Being in the room filled me with anxiety and dread, we have only ever had bad experiences from this room and it's hard to imagine the doctors giving us good news.  We kissed her goodbye and went to the waiting room. After Sarah's scan we took her on a drive around Salt Lake while we waited to meet with the doctors to go over results.  It was short lived though, because we were too anxious to get back.  We wanted to be there as soon as they knew anything.  When we saw our team of doctors they smiled and gave us the most wonderful news..."Sarah's scans are clean." We are ...
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May 1, 2018

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We made it home to Utah one week ago tonight.  It's been so good to be back. Sarah is active and happy, and honestly if it weren't for her darling bald head and missing eyebrows you wouldn't know she was sick. She was able to have her central line removed Friday, which has helped her feel more normal. Central lines can't get wet so she has been having bed baths since November....she loves taking showers now.  She just stands there as the warm water falls on her.  Every time I ask her if she's ready to get out she just smiles and says "no". It's been a harder adjustment, emotionally, than I thought it would be. I think it's because all we do now is wait. We need to wait about five weeks before Sarah can have an MRI...radiation can make an MRI light up and give a false reading if we do it too soon.  My emotions change quickly from positive and hopeful to despair and gloom.  Nathan, the kids, and my parents are helping me more than they know....th...
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